Thursday, December 23, 2010

Still talking to myself ...

Got all excited for a minute - saw that I had two followers. Wow. Getting popular. So I went to see who had joined my one follower - turns out it was me. Somehow at some point when I was trying to figure things out I added myself as a follower of my own blog. Well, if i can't expect myself to follow myself don't see how I can expect it of anyone else.

Car update - seems that the problem with the car may not be as serious as first thought. In any case, I did advise them of the potential problem and they said they were fine with it. Hopefully any fix needed at some point will be a whole heck of a lot less than $1,500.

Now - here we are on the eve of Christmas Eve. The hardest night of the year for me. Too many memories of people no longer here ... no real family left. Christmas Day has never been a big deal for me, but Christmas Eve is a killer. Following the European tradition, we always celebrated Christmas on Christmas Eve. Candles on the tree. Yes, candles. And, NO, not dangerous. There was always a pail of water right next to the tree and the rule was that there always HAD to be someone in the room whenever the candles were lit. Year after year I'd hear about fires caused by lights, but we never had a fire. And gifts were exchanged on Christmas Eve. And my beloved grandmother made it all so beautiful. She would disappear into the Christmas room and at some point a small bell would wring (I still have the bell). That meant we could now enter. Silent Night would be playing and my grandfather, and later my brother, would light the candles. To this day I cannot listen to Silent Night without totally losing it.

I love the buying, I love the giving, I tolerate the wrapping, but the actual days of Christmas not so much.

Saving grace this year is the day after Christmas, my three god children are coming over for dinner and gifts and love. They are 20, 21 and 42 and the true loves of my life. Been decorating the house just for that one evening, but it's been kind of fun. No tree and that makes it harder. When you have a tree it sort of doesn't matter how much else is decorated as the tree makes the statement and is hard to miss. But I've got things looking pretty nice, I think. The only thing really missing is the smell of the tree. I miss that.

So, rather than get any more emotional, I'll bid you all (?) a good night, the Merriest of Christmases and I'm sure I'll be back before it's time to wish you a Happy New Year.

Ta ta for now.

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